“Furthermore, it will be very important in your life to discern different intentions. There will those that dismiss and devalue you and who you are. Know this is not about you. There will also be those that engage and invest in you. Recognize these important people, as they will make a difference in your life. As difficult as it may seem, it is very important to make the distinction.”
When in an environment conducive to who you are, it is easier to be positive and make good choices. When in an environment that does not support who you, have you noticed you literally wilt? How you have conserved mental and physical resources, leaving parts of your life to fade out?
How often does this happen on teams, in families, within social groups and in classrooms? Often the belief is the power rests with the aggressive/strong person in the group and/or with the person holding the formal power. In reality, subtle psychological power plays can be delivered through all kinds of interesting ways. Power plays can include the use of tears, silence, sulking, sarcastic humor, gossip, acts of vulnerability and other passive means.
In communication, being clear on purpose and utilizing the power of effective questioning one can take the focus off what “we” want others to do, and place the focus on empowering and developing others. At the end of the day, which has more impact?
One of the most common fought over commodities is power; and the best strategy for gaining power in a conflict is to give power. By giving power one gains power.
Coaching Conversations with COACH CORA 